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Alvin Soon male Associate Features Editor

I like coffee and cameras, but not together.

Top 5 Things Apple Won't Be Saying at Tomorrow's Conference

You've probably heard by now that Apple's going to hold a press conference later today (Friday, 10AM PT over in the US, Saturday 1AM our time). Apple says the conference will be about the iPhone 4's antenna issue, but has remained silent on details.

While what Steve Jobs & Co. will reveal tomorrow is anyone's guess, here are 5 things we think you probably won't hear him say.

1. Introducing the iGrip, a revolutionary way to hold your iPhone 4 and have the best reception in the world with our magical antenna.

2. Let's talk about Microsoft and Russian spies instead.

3. We're sorry, Gizmodo.

4. Steve Jobs: "Look at me, look at you, back to me, and now you. Now do you understand why mere mortals cannot hold the iPhone like I do? The iPhone is now DIAMONDS!"

5. "And by the way, it's so fluffy!"

All Reponses

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"miloatsaleo
16 Jul 2010, 19:57

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!"

This is a cease and desist order to inform you that the iLaugh is a patented feature.


"We iFail this so hard!"


HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!


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